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Thursday, September 16, 2010

Shamans, space shuttles and airplanes

The world I live in - the one where as a parent you are constantly looking for answers - has presented a number of "opportunities" to seek out answers in places and forms which I would never have dreamed of searching.  Recently, I am reminded and continue to be nagged by our experience bringing a shaman, a so called energy healer and mythic poet, into our home last Fall.  I suppose lots of people at some point in their lives may consult a tarot card or palm reader or other psychic for fun.  Me, I never would have wasted my money on that - ever. But when it came to my child with autism, well never say never.  I wanted to slap myself for being excited to have a rational "reason" to consult with and pay $150 to such a person.  All in the name of recovering my son and finding out what the true cause of his autism is. But I figured, hey, $150 is cheap compared to other therapies we were paying for.   Leave no stone unturned I told myself and my husband and some close friends. 

So here we go. Enter Sudama. The first thing that struck me about this very kind, genteel soul of a man was his towering presence. He presented like a 7 ft NBA player, only with sandals instead of high tops and he was carrying a CD of groovy music that he had just produced. "Green Evolution" was the name of the CD. You get the picture I am sure. Finbar with all his honesty bluntly stated "Hello, why are you so tall?"  Amazingly, he did not have much more interaction with Finbar than this for the next 2 hours. But he had surprisingly a lot to say about Finbar.  I will summarize.  He got the "message" as he read Finbar's energy that brought to mind the phrase "space shuttle pilot".  Then he preceded to relate and try to decipher the reading he was getting about Finbar's past life. You see, it seems Finbar had been smashed to smithereens in his most recent past life death and his soul is still traumatized by that death. This would explain why he only lives sometimes in "our world" and gels with his extreme desire to become a paraglider when he grows up.  And apparently Finbar saw his death coming.  Sudama likened it to a WW2 pilot, perhaps shot down and fell to earth, all the while aware of what was going to happen. Trauma.  Sudama related that Finbar had a strong "relationship" with gravity and the earth. Again, perhaps due to his previous death, which was probably falling to earth.  Sudama knew nothing of Finbar at this point. He did not know of his constant chatter about flying, becoming a paraglider when he grew up, his desire to learn to paraglide and hanglide as soon as he could, nor the fact that he talked about gravity like it was a person and called it "his friend gravity". He didn't know that we had figured out that flying in outward moving circles very fast was actually calming to Finbar.  That he could ride those huge swings at the carnivals over and over and never get sick.  

The interesting thing was, when Sudama left I thought, "shit, why not past life trauma? In fact it isn't autism, it is trauma from a previous life. We just have to get on with life and wait for him to get over it, poor little guy".  Funnily enough, that was a much easier story to accept than autism. Hmm.  A week later, Finbar decided to check out umpteem books on the space shuttle from the library. Hmmm. Strange. Is he telepathic I thought?  We came to a page in one book that talked about the tiles on the outside of the shuttle. Finbar pointedly asked what happens when the tiles fall off. How did he think of that? I wondered.  Then as I was relating to him what happened to the Challenger several years ago, I was overwhelmed with the feeling, really knocked over the head with the idea that perhaps he had been on that shuttle. "Space shuttle pilot" Sudama had said. "smashed to the smallest pieces of the human body possible". "Relationship to gravity". "Saw it coming".  "Past life was recent".  I gave Finney a big big hug.  I felt sorry for him in that moment.  Maybe it was him in the Challenger that fateful day. Maybe he has autism.  Which story would I choose to believe?

Well, it just so happens that Finbar's love affair with all things flying and fast continues and has reared its head lately. The latest story is that he will be an airplane pilot and will take flying lessons as soon as he can read and do math.  So maybe it was the WW2 pilot I think....which story will I believe? And how did I ever get to a place where I give sincere thought to the question "did my son have a past life?"


MammadiGabieVinci said...

I shed a tear reading this... The thought of Finbar's autism being cause by the trauma of being smashed to smitherines in a possible former life, gives things a whole different perpspective.

Emily said...

Hey....reminds me of a book that I read called Soul Survivor: The Reincarnation of a World War II Fighter Pilot. True story of a young boy who had memories of crashing a plane in WWII and is thought to be a reincarnated pilot. Have you read? If not you must!

finbarsmom said...

Emily, I saw the Youtube video of the kid and his parents. Did not know there was a book. I still get this eerie feeling sometimes when Finbar tells stories about falling out of the sky..its like, where is this coming from? Imagination or not? I never say never. Just yesterday he went on dry erase board and "brainstormed" a story of a man falling to earth in his space shuttle...